Dear Esther,
Thank you for your article. My Mom gets this magazine and I love reading your page. I thought I would ask your advice on a personal issue. I am 17 year old and I have been struggling with something very personal. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 7 months. He has been pressuring me to have sex. It's been really hard because I too want to have sex. I love him very much and I know he loves me. My family wants me to marry as a virgin, but I think that's silly nowadays. I look forward to your reply and advice.
Dear Confused Teen,
I'm glad that you love to read my page in Our Valley Magazine. Even though you are only 17 years old, you are trying your best to listen to your family's advice. I really admire your character. Thank you my darling girl for trusting me with your personal issue for advice.
Please take into consideration on how serious is the subject of sex. You and your boyfriend may love each other deeply, but following your heart in an uncommitted relationship was not what God had planned for us. Just after God created the whole world, He performed the first wedding ceremony in the Garden of Eden. The wedding was the union of a man and a woman in Holy Matrimonial agreement instituted by God before sin happened. Please read: Genesis 2:18-25. Nowadays after sin, the purity of sex became perverted. Sex was made for a couple only after they got married and made an agreement of loyalty until death depart. For young people to have sex, it involves so many risks, complications and responsibilities that you may not be mature enough to cope with in an adequate manner. Believe me, accidents happen. If you get pregnant, it would deeply affect your life in the present time and in your future as well. Things can then become much more complicated for everyone.
King Solomon was a wise man with lots of great advice. Take some time to read his books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, they are very short. In Ecclesiastes 3:1 he starts saying: "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under the heavens." You already explained that you and your boyfriend are in love with each other, it's great! My suggestion is for you to talk with your boyfriend and explain that it's too early for you to have sex now, and you would like to wait and obey your parents request. If your boyfriend really loves you, he will agree with you to maintain your loyalty to your family and protect yourself. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise." Proverbs 13:1 "A wise child accepts a parent's instruction."
"If you love Me, obey my commandments." John 14:15.
"Grace and peace to you from Him (God) Who is, Who was, and Who is to come." Revelation 1:4.
I believe in my heart that you are a very honest person, and belong to a respectful family. I really wish you all the happiness in the world.
Sincerely from my heart,
Esther